Gary Gensler, chairman of the US Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) and self-styled ‘Market Daddy’ has said he will pull back on most of this year’s regulatory reforms because he cannot be bothered.
“I’m just not feeling it,” he reportedly told Commission officials.
Gensler was reportedly furious when he was literally front run at the Boston Marathon by capital markets DJ D-Sol, and trading afficionado Jimmy Gorman.
“It was like a metaphor” said an SEC spokesperson. “He hates those.”
Sources close to the SEC said he had been expected to respond to this afront with a vicious simile.
However, the famously laid-back chairman decided to take a new direction, preferring personal popularity to defining rigid market structural goals.
“He’s going on tour,” said one source, citing an internal SEC memo. “He’s going to sing the rules directly to compliance departments at new regulatory concerts.”
The ‘Serious’ Tour is reportedly planned for the spring of 2025 and until then all new regulatory initiatives are on hold.
“Don’t worry about it,” said Gensler. “Chillax.”
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